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It’s Complicated – But It Doesn’t Have to Be

The only way to avoid the complications of relationships is to have none. We human beings need each other, so God created us with the capacity to love, to have friends, to get married, and to live in community with each other. But, as Facebook would attest, many of us would simply say of our closest relationships in life, “It’s complicated.”

My own marriage illustrates this well. When Angie and I married back in 1997, we were 19 and assumed life together would be fairly smooth sailing. A decade in, we were discovering and doing battle with the monsters lurking within us (especially me). Things got…well, it’s complicated.

5 Things That Saved Us From It’s Complicated

What saved us? I attribute the turnaround to at least five factors.


Jesus died to redeem and heal us from sin and his Holy Spirit finds ways to actively draw our hearts back in line with his. It’s his power that heals.


My wife made repeated decisions to show grace and extend love to a sometimes unlovable, undeserving husband. She’s amazing!


We both decided not to walk out, not to give up, and to pray desperately and repeatedly that God would change each of us according to his will.

Small Group

Our small group at Saddleback Church taught us about opening up, getting real, and struggling in community with others.

Nobody’s Perfect

Our Grace Hills Church family taught us that nobody’s perfect, we’re all broken, and there is always hope when God’s amazing grace invades our hearts and our circumstances.

Read Next on Thriving Marriages  Your Husband Loves You, He Just Can't Read Your Mind


This article about an “it’s complicated” relationship originally appeared here, and is used by permission.

Brandon Coxhttps://brandonacox.com
My sweet, beautiful wife, Angie, and I were high school sweethearts and have been married since June 14, 1997. She’s a very talented therapist as well as a key leader within Grace Hills Church in Bentonville, Arkansas, which we founded together in July of 2011. Her heart breaks for the broken and she’s changed my life by loving me so faithfully and graciously. Grace Hills Church has grown from a couple of families to an average attendance of over 500 while sending people to plant locally and abroad. We were sent out by Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California, where I served as a Pastor while re-developing the online, global community of Pastors.com.