secret to happy marriage

The Secret to Happy Marriage (Seriously)

I've learned this secret to happy marriage: the simple response of “yes” to what our spouse asks goes a long way to communicate “I LOVE YOU.”
fall in love

How to Fall in Love All Over Again

Celebrating love usually isn’t something that “comes over” you. You don’t just sit around and wait to fall in love again.
marriage communication checklist

Could You Use a Marriage Communication Checklist?

This marriage communication checklist an be the foundation the Lord uses to bring love, commitment, honor and respect into our marriage.
serving your spouse

The Power of Serving Your Spouse – Now!

Do I prioritize serving my spouse over serving my friends and extended family? And how I prioritize the task: by my values, or hers?

Living Out Our Wedding Vows Day-to-Day

We must make sure that when we come to any crossroad in our marriage (that might threaten our wedding vows) we must hold to those words.
low maintenance spouse

The Dangers of a Low Maintenance Spouse

Because she is such a low maintenance spouse, I might take her for granted or even take advantage of her. I don’t want this to be our story.
living together

Living Together – Is Marriage “Just a Piece of Paper?”

The option of living together, rather than moving into a formal marriage contract, has proliferated in our culture.
average marriage

Do You Have an Average Marriage or a Grace-Filled Marriage?

One simple question can help you determine whether you have an average marriage of a grace-filled marriage.

Healthy Marriage Habits: Daily, Weekly, Monthly, & Yearly

To develop a healthy marriage, it is important that two vital elements come together. First, at some point you must draw a line...
christian marriage

Christian Marriage – Pilgrims Traveling Same Path

The Apostle Peter sets Christian marriage on the highest plane possible—husbands and wives possess the same eternal inheritance.
best marriage story

The Best Marriage Story is . . . Boring?!?

The best marriage story you’ll ever hear might sound a little boring, but it’s the story you and I both want for our children.
healthy marriage checkup

Have You Had a Healthy Marriage Checkup?

The season is always right for a healthy marriage checkup. As a pastoral counselor and marriage and family therapist, I do these regularly.

14 Tips to Strengthen a Struggling Marriage.

This is a very hard time; our emotional health and physical well-being are being challenged in pandemic life.  We are trying to...
dangerous person

How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage: the dangerous person profile

There's a famous line from the movie Jerry Maguire: "you complete me." When Tom Cruise says this he has realized that Renée Zellweger is his once-in-a-lifetime,...

How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage: “it’s time to flee”

This is part 2 of a series, this week on knowing when, like Joseph from the Bible, it's time to flee from temptation. You...

How to Protect Your Marriage From An Affair

In 25% of current marriages one or both spouses are having an affair. That's 1-in-4. It's a staggering, heartbreaking statistic, and highlights an important truth: every...

19 Reasons I Love My Wife.

On this date, 19 years ago, Kristen and I said, “I do”! Apart from following Jesus, I can’t think of a better...
relational revelation

The Power of Inviting Your Spouse Into Your Hurt

As a Christian psychologist, I sometimes feel like I’m in the crosshairs of pastors and therapists who disagree about the road to...

Find Time To Find Jesus In The Middle of Busyness.

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed–or only one. Mary has...
you can choose

You Can Choose a Good Marriage, Starting Today.

There's a moment in the recent film The Way Back I can't stop thinking about. Ben Affleck plays a deeply troubled, alcoholic coach of...

Truly Loving Your Spouse Means Protecting Them

If you cherish some thing, you are committed to protecting it. In the same way, if you cherish some one, you will protect...

Infatuation Is Normal, And An Affair is Preventable.

In 1977, Avodah Offit wrote a popular book entitled The Sexual Self that became a favorite among many sex therapists. I’m not endorsing the...
hurt your spouse

What To Do When You’ve Hurt Your Spouse

Have you ever hurt your spouse in some way? All right, so it’s a trick question. Of course you have hurt your...

How Do You Dole Out Your Household Chores?

Household chores represent probably the most pressing “minor issue” in marriage for a lot of couples because it’s a conflict that never...

Are You Thinking About What You’re Thinking?

If we want a healthy marriage, if we want a marriage that is marked by cherishing, we have to think about what we...

Beauty Is a Blessing, And Seeing It Isn’t A Sin.

Lisa and I were shopping in one of her stores years ago when I heard a song that stopped me in my...

How To Be Your Spouse’s Biggest Cheerleader

What would it mean to you to face each day knowing there is someone cheering you on no matter what happens? How...
fresh start

It’s Never Too Late For a Fresh Start.

A story is told about a factory burning down that was owned and managed by the great inventor Thomas Edison, and the...
persevering love

Persevering Love: How To Survive the Tough Times

If you want to safeguard your marriage against the storms and struggles of life, if you want a deeper bond and a...

The Challenge That Could Change Your Marriage

Sheri and Chad both have naturally strong personalities that occasionally “led to much conflict in our marriage, as we each tried to...
emotional affair

Is Your Marriage in Danger of an Emotional Affair?

The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy says national surveys indication 15 percent of married women and 25 percent of married...

Your Marriage Is a Marathon You’re Running Together.

The Christian life is a marathon, not a sprint. What’s the difference? Think about the running events in the Olympics as an...
rock solid marriage

Building Rock Solid Marriages That Last.

If you’re married, you’ve probably figured out that marriage isn’t always easy.  And it’s not supposed to be.  Like anything, time comes...

Hero Worship: The 1 Thing That Will Kill a Marriage

It’s a cliché now for people to proclaim, “When I was a young boy, my dad was my hero. When I became...

Remember to Cherish What’s Special In Your Spouse.

Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. –Ephesians 5:33 One...

Think About It: Who You Focus On Is Who You Love

Do you want to cultivate and enjoy a great marriage? Do you want to be more energized and less discouraged, regardless...

The Only Person You Need ISN’T Your Spouse

This week I’m excited to announce that a book I’ve been talking about for months is finally available: Together Through the Storms by Sarah...
celebrating love

Celebrating Love Is How a Marriage Lasts Forever

No one gets married thinking their love for their spouse will fade. We go in believing those butterflies we felt when we...
emotional affair

10 Warning Signs of an Emotional Affair

“I love Dave Willis’ blogs about key marriage issues and he is always so profoundly practical. The issue of an emotional affair...

4 Ways to Keep Fighting When You Want to Give Up

“Kurt Bubna is a GREAT writer and thinker. I love his vulnerability and common sense approach to our spiritual life. This blog...

“True or False?” Don’t Turn Love Into a Test

This morning, I met with a group of friends to encourage each other in our marriages. As we talked, one of the...

6 Ways Forgiveness Isn’t What You Think It is.

Forgiveness can be costly. A major step in the process of forgiveness is releasing your offending spouse, giving up on revenge and...

Husbands, Here’s What God Expects You to Be.

My love for Scripture is matched only by my love for Jesus, and the love of one is the expression of my...

The Key to Cherishing Your Spouse For a Lifetime

Neuroscience tells us that the shelf-life of an infatuation is about twelve to eighteen months. It’s a nice run while it lasts,...

4 Ways to Dig Marriage Roots That Last a Lifetime

In 1962 someone built our home. I don’t have the deeds for the other homes on our street, but I assume they...
real love

Real Love is Tough Like Tires (But in a Romantic Way)

Images matter, and how we imagine what love should look like has a huge impact on our satisfaction in marriage and our...
golden rules

3 Golden Rules For Rekindling Romance

Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church–a love marked by giving, not...

Stressed? Here’s God’s Solution For Anxious Couples

They were so absorbed in their “God projects” that they didn’t notice God right in front of them, like a huge rock...
perfect marriage

Help, My Imperfect Spouse Is Ruining My Perfect Marriage!

Q: Well, the honeymoon is over and I’ve discovered that my spouse is not perfect. Now what? A: Your wedding may have been...
rekindle romance

5 Practical Ways to Rekindle Romance In Your Marriage

A friend recently asked me the following questions about how to rekindle romance: “What do you do for fun as a couple? What...