Communication in Marriage – 3 Godly Secrets

communication in marriage

Angie and I talk to a lot of couples about communication in marriage, and one of the most common problems we encounter is the communication conundrum. Spouses really struggle to know how to articulate themselves as well as how to understand each other. 

Nearly two thousand years ago, James, the half-brother of Jesus and apostolic leader of the early Jerusalem church, gave us the ultimate plan for better communication (including communication in marriage) and understanding in any context, and it’s made up of three simple phrases.

Communication in Marriage – 3 Godly Secrets

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,

~ James 1:19 NIV

Take a moment to imagine how your closest relationships would change for the better if you developed these three habits:

  1. Listen attentively before thinking of your response.
  2. Speak only after fully thinking your words through.
  3. Slow down the process of frustration.

Ultimately, what James is challenging us to do is to handle our emotions in a holy, healthy way. You don’t always control your emotions, but you always have a choice in how to respond to your emotions and what actions you choose to take based on your feelings.

You will always communicate more clearly and effectively when you tune in, take it slow, and take it down a notch.

 

This article about communication in marriage originally appeared here, and is used by permission.

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My sweet, beautiful wife, Angie, and I were high school sweethearts and have been married since June 14, 1997. She’s a very talented therapist as well as a key leader within Grace Hills Church in Bentonville, Arkansas, which we founded together in July of 2011. Her heart breaks for the broken and she’s changed my life by loving me so faithfully and graciously. Grace Hills Church has grown from a couple of families to an average attendance of over 500 while sending people to plant locally and abroad. We were sent out by Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California, where I served as a Pastor while re-developing the online, global community of Pastors.com.