how to love

The Greatest Gift Marriage Offers Us Isn’t What You Think

Today's post from Gary Thomas is something I've been thinking about a lot lately. We think marriage is a place to receive...
accept your spouse

Accept Your Spouse As They Are, Even When Who They Are Changes

People change. Very few of us have the same figure or physique we had on our wedding day as we walked down...
bids for connection

Bids for Connection: The Tool This Expert Says Is the Secret to Great...

It’s not big, blow out fights that wreck a marriage. It’s how we treat each other day to day. And that’s why...
messy

Messy v. Neat Freak: How to Navigate the Cleanliness War In Your Marriage

Q: One of us is very neat, but the other is very messy. How can we keep from driving each other crazy? A:...
tone

Tone Deaf: Is What You’re Saying Hidden By How You’re Saying It?

I've said this several times, but Doug Fields is both a ludicrously gifted communicator and a very kind mentor and friend of...
initiating

Initiating (and Declining) Sex Without Starting a Fight

For many married couples initiating sex can be an awkward moment that leads to conflict or hurt feelings. They’re not sure what...
perspective

Your Spouse’s Perspective Is Annoying. You Should Listen Anyway!

I don’t know about you, but I often overlook the Lord’s eternal perspective. He sees all of time, from beginning to end,...
100 percent

The Only “Fair” Marriage Is When Both Spouses Give 100 Percent.

Happily married Eric and Jill climbed out of bed at their normal Saturday morning hour. They had a lot to do around...
self-righteousness

Self-Righteousness is Satan’s Favorite Attack Against Your Marriage. Here’s What You Can Do About...

What if one of the most dangerous attitudes for believers is self-righteousness? What if it’s possible to be “right” and toxic at the...
fight

Want to Stop a Fight Before It Starts? Here’s How!

Do you sometimes feel the frustration simmering below the surface? Can you sense there might be an argument brewing? Let us encourage...
love & respect

Why The Hugely Popular Book “Love & Respect” Could Be Harmful to Your Sex...

When I was first married, sex hurt. And I felt terribly guilty about that. Have you ever looked back on your younger self...
obstacles

The 3 Biggest Obstacles to a Healthy Marriage, and the Tools To Overcome Them

The other day I was telling my coworker stories from the early days of my marriage. It was one of those moments...
forgive

A Marriage That Can’t Forgive, Won’t Survive

Miranda had been spending money on a secret credit card for months. She hid receipts, she removed price tags, she sometimes even...
positivity

Want a Happier Marriage? Practice the Power of Positivity

One of the most often asked questions I get related to relationships is, “What are key ingredients that make up a successful relationship?” The...
stinking thinking

Top 8 Stinking Thinking Thoughts That Hurt Relationships

These 8 thinking stinking thoughts could hurt your marriage. Stinking Thinking #1: All-or-nothing thinking You see things in black-or-white categories. You think in absolutes such as “always”,...
fight

25 Ways to Fight Fair (#9 Is a Game-Changer)

Please note that the words “fight” and “fighting fair” are used below to mean expressing one’s disagreement or anger to another constructively....
In-Laws

How To Have Healthy Boundaries With Your In-Laws

Q: My mother-in-law really has my husband under her thumb. How can I get her to back off without hurting either of...
finances

Are Finances Supposed to Be the Man’s Job?

Q: My husband is terrible at handling the finances because he hates paperwork. I like to take care of the bills, but...
When we mentor couples they are often focused on who’s wrong or who’s right. When we ask them about their goal for marriage, they usually agree that they want a better relationship. The question changes from who’s wrong or who’s right to, “What will build our bond?"

“In It To Win It” Is a Bad Goal For Marriage

My wife, Michelle, and I went on a beach vacation in early January. It was great to get away and to relax....
married sex

How Bad Married Sex Can Actually Be Good For You!

Steve meets Michelle. They fall in love and get married shortly after graduation. For our story...
happy marriage

Want a Happy Marriage? Stop Asking Your Spouse to Do This.

Don’t you think it would be cruel to ask your spouse to hold down five jobs? Let’s say your...
stop fighting

5 Easy Ways to Stop Fighting With Your Spouse

Stop fighting with your spouse…if only it were so simple! Let’s face it…communication is very complex.
goals

Set These Realistic Goals for Your Marriage in 2019

A few years ago, at the suggestion of a friend, Troy and I began the tradition of setting goals for our marriage...
hardest

Last Year Was One of the Hardest Years of My Life … but One...

Most of the time here at Thriving Marriages we bring you the best content we've found around the web for building a...
husband share his emotions

Why Won’t My Husband Share His Emotions With Me?

Why won't my husband share his emotions with me? It's all... “Man up.” “Suck it up.”...
trust

Do You Trust the Person You’re Having Sex With?

Richard Nicastro, PhD, examines how the sexual intimacy stakes rise when you fall in love.  He highlights the conditions that either encourage...
connection

Behind Every Fight Is a Desire For Connection

Beth and Paul were sitting on the coach in front of me struggling to connect. They both felt dismissed, ignored, blamed, angry...
integrity

Should You Bring It Up, Or Let It Go?

For most of my marriage, I’ve had this question, that I just COULDN’T puzzle out. It is this: when...
marriage

How Married Do You Want to Be?

How earnestly do you want to feel close to your spouse? Enough to kill something for it?
family origin impacts marriage

How Your Family of Origin Impacts Your Marriage Now

The term family of origin is familiar to some but many not everyone.  Everyone should have an understanding of it, being that...
communication

3 Communication Breakdowns You Can Fix Today

Communication is so important in a relationship. It’s the way we express our needs and wants to our partner. But sometimes, the message doesn’t...
shame

Is Shame Ruining Your Relationship?

Dr. Richard Nicastro, Phd, deftly illuminates the undercurrent of one of the most toxic relationship challenges; shame, often at the root of individual distress...
emotional intimacy in marriage

How to Build Emotional Intimacy in Marriage

For women, emotional intimacy in marriage is crucial to a deep, thriving relationship. And the research proves it! For our book, The Five Love...
conflict

8 Sources of Conflict You Can Remove Immediately

What Are Your Conflict Blocks? Dealing with conflict in appropriate and positive ways is a learned trait. Typically, we’ll begin learning conflict management at about...
reasons for divorce

God’s Solutions to the Reasons For Divorce

Do you feel just plain unhappy in your marriage? Or that you’re no longer in love with your spouse? Some would say you should...
I was wrong

Why Saying “I Was Wrong” Will Transform Your Marriage

If you are old enough to recall the sitcom Happy Days, you’ll remember “The Fonz.” Henry Winkler played the character of Arthur Fonzarelli, the coolest...
emotional responsibility

Why Emotional Responsibility Will Save Your Marriage

In the early years of our marriage, confrontations between Sheri and me usually involved her turning into a T-rex and me turning into a...
negative spouse

The Destructive Danger of a Negative Spouse

A negative spouse reeks destruction on marriages. Here's how... Frederick Buechner is a brilliant writer who can jump between fiction and nonfiction like a champion...
forgiveness and trust

The Difference Between Forgiveness and Trust

Understanding the difference between forgiveness and trust is critical to every marriage. When Jason and Alisha met with my wife and I they were...
forgive your spouse

Forgive Your Spouse…It’s Far Better Than Regret

Today's great post about how to forgive your spouse comes from our friends at Live Your Best Marriage. Enjoy! Ever noticed how difficult it is...

5 Steps to Freedom from Shame

When I was in elementary school, I was molested by a family member. That same family member introduced me to porn for the first...

How to Survive When Your Marriage is Under Attack

Today's post comes from Live Your Best Marriage. In a few weeks my husband and I will celebrate our 25th Wedding Anniversary. It’s been an exciting...

The Surprising Secret for Marital Satisfaction

Today's post comes from Gary Thomas. Some desires in marriage are never going to be fulfilled and need to be “crucified.” In fact, various studies have...
fight

5 Questions to Ask During a Fight

Today's post from Juli at Authentic Intimacy is timely (my wife and I just had a fight last night!) and I basically did the...

Your Husband Loves You, He Just Can’t Read Your Mind

Early in my marriage I surprised my wife by setting up a Christmas tree (that shed wanted but I'd said we shouldn't get) while...

You Can’t Control Your Spouse’s Emotions (Only Yours)

Today's post from the Marriage Laboratory goes out to all the Thriving Marriages readers who feel like they're failing when their spouse has a...

4 Tips for Dodging Drama

In lieu of my normal introduction, I'll just let Homeword introduce today's topic and say I wholeheartedly agree. I love all things John Townsend. He...

Don’t Want to Drift Apart? Make Plans to Grow Together

As I was reading this post from Gary Thomas, I was reminded of a catchphrase from one of my all-time favorite show: LOST. The...
learn from #metoo

What Husbands Need to Learn From #Metoo

Today's post about what husbands need to learn from #metoo comes from a new contributor to Thriving Marriages, Kim Quon. Whether you resonate with...
managing emotions

6 Tips For Managing Your Emotions

Today's post comes from our partners at Connected Marriages. Make sure to check out the great resources they offer! Tips for Emotional Regulation Have you ever...