Are You Thinking About What You’re Thinking?
If we want a healthy marriage, if we want a marriage that is marked by cherishing, we have to think about what we...
Take Off The Disguise When You’re With Your Spouse
The Pharisees, who loved money, heard all this and were sneering at Jesus. He said to them, “You are the ones who...
My Spouse Is (Or Isn’t) a Morning Person. Help Me!
Before I set the bar of my marriage at cherishing my wife, I thought I had run into an unsolvable conundrum.
It had to do...
Healing From Your Past Is Hard. It’s Also Worth It.
Tina and I met together for counseling several years ago to work through some traumatic experiences from her past. A year after...
It’s Never Too Late For a Fresh Start.
A story is told about a factory burning down that was owned and managed by the great inventor Thomas Edison, and the...
Husbands, Help Carry Your Wife’s Mental Load.
It’s the last day of our emotional labor and mental load series!
We wrapped up the big teaching points yesterday talking about how...
All Marriages Are Imperfect. And All Can Improve.
“You know, your prayers are pretty shallow. Why don’t you pray a real prayer?”
The young man was reeling—was she really going to leave him...
What Level of Conflict Are Your Marital Fights At?
Ryan and Megan were in our living room and they couldn’t agree. Ryan’s friends were going to get together over the weekend...
How to Honor Your In-Laws & Keep Good Boundaries
In the early years of marriage, learning to navigate the choppy waters of the extended family can all boil down to honoring your in-laws....
Toxic People Can Poison a Fruitful Marriage
When I start writing a book, I wear the hat of an explorer. I have a general destination in mind, but I...
How to Fight Off Stress While Stuck Inside
I haven’t left the house for over a week as my wife and I stay at home to stop the spread of...
4 Ways to Navigate Covid-19: A Survival Guide
Life in 2020 is filled with concerns about health, jobs, and the economy. Yet your most worrisome problem right now might not be...
Anxiety Doesn’t Always Win: Finding Joy In Stress
Anxiety plagues many of us, stealing our peace of mind, but also inserting itself into our marriages.
And that can cause some real...
Marriages that Last Close the “Loop of Conflict”
Most of us start our marriages in that blissful, love-filled state we had while dating. But all too often that close relationship...
Tired of All the Fighting? Maybe You’re Just Tired!
Because I like you I’ll let you in on a little secret . . . sometimes Rich and I fight. Sometimes we...
6 Ways Forgiveness Isn’t What You Think It is.
Forgiveness can be costly. A major step in the process of forgiveness is releasing your offending spouse, giving up on revenge and...
The 4 Common Mistakes Newlyweds Make
Just about every day for the last 14 years I’ve given my life to helping pre-married and newlyweds prepare for and start...
Ruthlessly Pursue Reconciliation With Your Spouse
Caveat: This blog post is for those in relatively healthy, perhaps difficult, but not abusive relationships.
I was five thousand miles away, in...
Household Chores Can Make or Break a Marriage
It’s an argument as old as marriage: Who helps out most with household chores? In a recent survey, more than half of...
Don’t Avoid Conflict, Treat it Like an Adventure.
Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it. –1 Peter 3:10-11 (NLT)
Personally, I hate conflict....
A Negative Character Trait CAN Change. Here’s How.
Is it fair to say to your spouse, “This is just the way I am” when it comes to a negative character...
How to Love a Spouse Struggling with Depression
So, as a loving husband or wife, what do you do if you feel like your spouse is being swallowed up by depression?...
Negative Emotion is Vital For a Healthy Relationship
In preparation for my shiny new blog plan (month long themes complete with corresponding love experiments, social media posts and podcast episodes),...
Marriage Fight Club: How to Have a Good Argument
It’s not a matter of if, but when, you and your mate will have an argument. It’s a natural part of any...
In-Laws An Issue? Here’s What To Do About It.
The holidays can be a wonderful time of laughter and love and gatherings with family. But it can also be a time...
Are You Giving Too Much This Holiday Season?
I’m an expert at killing—plants, that is. No matter what I do, I cannot seem to keep my plants alive. They call...
“O Holy Fight.” Navigating Conflict this Christmas
Every significant relationship will face challenges with communication and conflict resolution. This holds true for couples, families, friends, and co-workers. Married couples...
“My Husband Enjoys Football More Than Me!”
Q: My husband seems to enjoy watching football and spending time with his friends more than he enjoys spending time with me....
Conflict In Your Marriage? That Might Be Good!
“Chris and Melina Hann are a wonderful couple with a brand new book called Head Over Heels…Forever. I think you will enjoy...
Can Love Languages Be Harmful For Your Marriage?
I like giving and receiving gifts.
My wife Lisa doesn’t.
In my young stupid pride, I used to double down on gift giving opportunities,...
Punishment Is Not An Acceptable Relational Tool
Punishment is connected to our instinctive reactions to pain. (In fact, the word “pain” comes from the same root word as “punishment.”)...
Jealousy Isn’t Always Unhealthy
You feel jealousy when you experience the unpleasant sensation of a rival. No matter how much your spouse may attempt to reassure...
3 Types of Conflict in Marriage, And The Danger of Confusing Them
There is no one-size-fits-all for dealing with marriage problems, because not all types of conflict are alike.
This month, our Wednesday series is...
Words Hurt, So Don’t Say Everything You Think.
Words hurt, deeply. Check out this verse from the Bible:
The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the...
3 Keys To Overcoming Obstacles In Your Marriage
The other day I was telling my coworker stories from the early days of my marriage. It was one of those moments...
Watch Your Tone! Say Things In a Way Your Spouse Will Hear
When it comes to communication, even more important than words is the tone that accompanies them. You’ve most likely heard the phrase,...
7 Common Christian Marriage Myths. #3 Might Surprise You!
Q: We have a Christian marriage—so why is it so painful? Shouldn’t being believers shield us from the problems we’re having?
A: Many...
Why Do People Cheat in Relationships, And Whose Fault Is It?
If your spouse has an affair, are you partially to blame? Why do people cheat in relationships anyway?
That’s been something I’ve been...
How to Fight Fair: 25 Tips for Better Arguments
Everyone has fights in their marriage, but not everyone knows how to fight. Not all conflict is created equal: some conflict brings...
How to Forgive Your Spouse After An Affair
An affair does not have to be the end of your marriage. Here's how to forgive your spouse after an affair.
Q: We’ve...
“I’m Sorry” Can Make All the Difference In Your Marriage
You know things are “off” between you. That cutting remark still stings. Time passes with a promise unfulfilled for another day. Loyalties are...
Conflict and Fighting Aren’t the Same Thing. Here’s Why That Matters.
I’ve shared with you in past blog posts that my husband, Mike, and I are very, very different. Early in our marriage,...
3 Tough Love Truths About Your Marriage
A lay counselor who has worked with hundreds of premarital couples told me that he particularly looks forward to the session when...
Broken Trust Can Be Restored … But It Takes Time
Your spouse has blown it. You don’t trust him/her anymore. But you want to save your marriage, despite your broken trust. How...
“Never Surrender.” Don’t Give Up, Your Marriage Can Thrive For a Lifetime.
A divorce lawyer recently posted an article arguing that the vow “till death do us part” is passé, unrealistic, and needs to...
About to Lose Your Cool? Here’s How to Have Self Control During an Argument
I hear stories all the time about how couples have lost it in an argument.
One of them hears something that triggers their...
The Key To Being Happy In Your Marriage is Being Grateful For What You...
Nicolas Rolin frolicked, adulterized, gambled, and even murdered his way through the fifteenth century until he looked mortality in the face and...
Your Parents’ Divorce Doesn’t Mean You’re Doomed to Get Divorced Too.
Q: I want to get married, but my parents had a terrible marriage and got divorced. Does my parents' divorce mean my...
Men, Emotional Intimacy Might Not Come As Easy For Us, But It’s Something We...
For Part 4 in this series on marital intimacy, I’m writing again about emotional intimacy. Often when we think of intimacy our...
“I’m Faithfully Following Jesus, So Why Is My Marriage Still Such a Mess?”
I recently met with a friend who shared openly with me about her struggles in marriage. “It’s like living with a robot!...