struggles

Don’t Run From the Struggles You’re Facing

Mature Christians recognize and appreciate the sweet side of suffering. Teresa of Avila wrote, “Lord, how you afflict your lovers! But everything...
forgiveness myths

5 Forgiveness Myths That Keep Spouses Apart.

Forgiveness has a lot of misconceptions and myths. Matthew and Amanda were stuck. Amanda was angry with Matthew and kept bringing up the...
fight fair

You Can Fight Well If You Fight Fair. Here’s How.

You and your spouse have had an argument. You want to talk it out, but your spouse retreats. What do you do?...
high sex drive

10 Questions High Sex Drive Spouses Should Ask

Are you the high sex drive husband, and you’re wondering what to do because your wife rarely wants sex? We opened the week...
attunement

Attunement: This Odd Word Can Save Your Marriage

  Have you ever gotten into a big fight with your spouse and not handled it very well? I don’t think I know...
heart of the matter

The Heart Is The Heart Of The Matter. How’s Yours?

Whenever a marriage self-destructs, the heart is the heart of the matter. In Proverbs 4:23, wise King Solomon offers a vivid picture of the...
explosions

Marriage-Ruining Explosions Start As Small Sins

I was shooting baskets in my Pacific Northwest boyhood home in 1980 when a gigantic plume of smoke way off in the...
little annoyances

Don’t Let Little Annoyances Become Huge Problems

It’s obvious there are some marriage issues that are so big they cannot be ignored. Left unresolved, these large and painful issues can...
helping

When Helping Isn’t Helping You OR Your Spouse

The scene is a couple driving in the car on the way to dinner:Silence for several minutes.“What’s wrong?”“Nothing.”A few more minutes of...
imperfect

How to Unconditionally Love An Imperfect Spouse

Chet was being a jerk at a family gathering and a relative called him out on it. On the way home, he...
tie-breaker

Husbands Don’t Need To Be The “Tie-Breaker”

When we give husbands "tie-breaker" power, do we end up damaging intimacy? Often the best conversations on this blog don’t happen in the...
hurt your spouse

What To Do When You’ve Hurt Your Spouse

Have you ever hurt your spouse in some way? All right, so it’s a trick question. Of course you have hurt your...
thinking

Are You Thinking About What You’re Thinking?

If we want a healthy marriage, if we want a marriage that is marked by cherishing, we have to think about what we...
disguise

Take Off The Disguise When You’re With Your Spouse

The Pharisees, who loved money, heard all this and were sneering at Jesus. He said to them, “You are the ones who...
morning person

My Spouse Is (Or Isn’t) a Morning Person. Help Me!

Before I set the bar of my marriage at cherishing my wife, I thought I had run into an unsolvable conundrum. It had to do...
healing

Healing From Your Past Is Hard. It’s Also Worth It.

Tina and I met together for counseling several years ago to work through some traumatic experiences from her past. A year after...
fresh start

It’s Never Too Late For a Fresh Start.

A story is told about a factory burning down that was owned and managed by the great inventor Thomas Edison, and the...
mental load

Husbands, Help Carry Your Wife’s Mental Load.

It’s the last day of our emotional labor and mental load series! We wrapped up the big teaching points yesterday talking about how...
imperfect

All Marriages Are Imperfect. And All Can Improve.

“You know, your prayers are pretty shallow. Why don’t you pray a real prayer?” The young man was reeling—was she really going to leave him...
level of conflict

What Level of Conflict Are Your Marital Fights At?

  Ryan and Megan were in our living room and they couldn’t agree. Ryan’s friends were going to get together over the weekend...
honor

How to Honor Your In-Laws & Keep Good Boundaries

In the early years of marriage, learning to navigate the choppy waters of the extended family can all boil down to honoring your in-laws....
toxic

Toxic People Can Poison a Fruitful Marriage

When I start writing a book, I wear the hat of an explorer. I have a general destination in mind, but I...
stress

How to Fight Off Stress While Stuck Inside

I haven’t left the house for over a week as my wife and I stay at home to stop the spread of...
survival

4 Ways to Navigate Covid-19: A Survival Guide

Life in 2020 is filled with concerns about health, jobs, and the economy. Yet your most worrisome problem right now might not be...
anxiety

Anxiety Doesn’t Always Win: Finding Joy In Stress

Anxiety plagues many of us, stealing our peace of mind, but also inserting itself into our marriages. And that can cause some real...
loop of conflict

Marriages that Last Close the “Loop of Conflict”

Most of us start our marriages in that blissful, love-filled state we had while dating. But all too often that close relationship...
tired

Tired of All the Fighting? Maybe You’re Just Tired!

Because I like you I’ll let you in on a little secret . . . sometimes Rich and I fight.  Sometimes we...
forgiveness

6 Ways Forgiveness Isn’t What You Think It is.

Forgiveness can be costly. A major step in the process of forgiveness is releasing your offending spouse, giving up on revenge and...
newlyweds

The 4 Common Mistakes Newlyweds Make

Just about every day for the last 14 years I’ve given my life to helping pre-married and newlyweds prepare for and start...
reconciliation

Ruthlessly Pursue Reconciliation With Your Spouse

Caveat: This blog post is for those in relatively healthy, perhaps difficult, but not abusive relationships. I was five thousand miles away, in...
household chores

Household Chores Can Make or Break a Marriage

It’s an argument as old as marriage: Who helps out most with household chores? In a recent survey, more than half of...
adventure

Don’t Avoid Conflict, Treat it Like an Adventure.

Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it. –1 Peter 3:10-11 (NLT) Personally, I hate conflict....
character trait

A Negative Character Trait CAN Change. Here’s How.

Is it fair to say to your spouse, “This is just the way I am” when it comes to a negative character...
depression

How to Love a Spouse Struggling with Depression

So, as a loving husband or wife, what do you do if you feel like your spouse is being swallowed up by depression?...
negative emotion

Negative Emotion is Vital For a Healthy Relationship

In preparation for my shiny new blog plan (month long themes complete with corresponding love experiments, social media posts and podcast episodes),...
argument

Marriage Fight Club: How to Have a Good Argument

It’s not a matter of if, but when, you and your mate will have an argument. It’s a natural part of any...
in-laws

In-Laws An Issue? Here’s What To Do About It.

The holidays can be a wonderful time of laughter and love and gatherings with family. But it can also be a time...
giving too much

Are You Giving Too Much This Holiday Season?

I’m an expert at killing—plants, that is. No matter what I do, I cannot seem to keep my plants alive. They call...

“O Holy Fight.” Navigating Conflict this Christmas

Every significant relationship will face challenges with communication and conflict resolution. This holds true for couples, families, friends, and co-workers. Married couples...
football

“My Husband Enjoys Football More Than Me!”

Q: My husband seems to enjoy watching football and spending time with his friends more than he enjoys spending time with me....
conflict

Conflict In Your Marriage? That Might Be Good!

“Chris and Melina Hann are a wonderful couple with a brand new book called Head Over Heels…Forever. I think you will enjoy...
love languages

Can Love Languages Be Harmful For Your Marriage?

I like giving and receiving gifts. My wife Lisa doesn’t. In my young stupid pride, I used to double down on gift giving opportunities,...
punishment

Punishment Is Not An Acceptable Relational Tool

Punishment is connected to our instinctive reactions to pain. (In fact, the word “pain” comes from the same root word as “punishment.”)...
jealousy

Jealousy Isn’t Always Unhealthy

You feel jealousy when you experience the unpleasant sensation of a rival. No matter how much your spouse may attempt to reassure...
types of conflict

3 Types of Conflict in Marriage, And The Danger of Confusing Them

There is no one-size-fits-all for dealing with marriage problems, because not all types of conflict are alike. This month, our Wednesday series is...
words hurt

Words Hurt, So Don’t Say Everything You Think.

Words hurt, deeply. Check out this verse from the Bible:  The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the...
overcoming obstacles

3 Keys To Overcoming Obstacles In Your Marriage

The other day I was telling my coworker stories from the early days of my marriage. It was one of those moments...
watch-tone

Watch Your Tone! Say Things In a Way Your Spouse Will Hear

When it comes to communication, even more important than words is the tone that accompanies them. You’ve most likely heard the phrase,...
christian marriage

7 Common Christian Marriage Myths. #3 Might Surprise You!

Q: We have a Christian marriage—so why is it so painful? Shouldn’t being believers shield us from the problems we’re having? A: Many...
why do people cheat

Why Do People Cheat in Relationships, And Whose Fault Is It?

If your spouse has an affair, are you partially to blame? Why do people cheat in relationships anyway?  That’s been something I’ve been...