how to have self control

About to Lose Your Cool? Here’s How to Have Self Control During an Argument

I hear stories all the time about how couples have lost it in an argument. One of them hears something that triggers their...
don't let the sun go down on your anger

What to Do When the Command “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down On Your...

There’s a phrase that we hear often that goes like this: “don’t let the sun go down on your anger.” Or: “don’t...
grateful

The Key To Being Happy In Your Marriage is Being Grateful For What You...

Nicolas Rolin frolicked, adulterized, gambled, and even murdered his way through the fifteenth century until he looked mortality in the face and...
parents' divorce

Your Parents’ Divorce Doesn’t Mean You’re Doomed to Get Divorced Too.

Q: I want to get married, but my parents had a terrible marriage and got divorced. Does my parents' divorce mean my...
emotional intimacy

Men, Emotional Intimacy Might Not Come As Easy For Us, But It’s Something We...

For Part 4 in this series on marital intimacy, I’m writing again about emotional intimacy. Often when we think of intimacy our...
following Jesus

“I’m Faithfully Following Jesus, So Why Is My Marriage Still Such a Mess?”

I recently met with a friend who shared openly with me about her struggles in marriage. “It’s like living with a robot!...
husbands, love your wives

Husbands, Love Your Wives Like Jesus. Here’s 3 Tips For How to Do That.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her – Ephesians 5:25 We have all read it...
why am I so angry

“Why Am I So Angry?” How to Discover What’s Really Behind This Potentially Destructive...

Did you know that anger is actually a secondary emotion? This means that at the core of everything you’re feeling, your anger...
close the loop

Close the Loop: The One Vital Habit That Will Keep Your Marriage Moving Forward

The moment you do or say something that hurts your marriage partner, you stand at a fork in the road. Whether you...
love is a choice

Love Is a Choice, Especially When You’re Not Feeling It.

  When my wife and I were going through marriage problems, the last thing that I wanted to hear was love is a...
how to resolve conflict

Want to Know How to Resolve Conflict With Your Spouse? Turn It Into a...

Now that we’re empty nesters, Lisa travels with me on most of my trips, at least the pleasant ones. Winnipeg in February? Pass. New York...
in-laws

Issues With the In-Laws? Maybe You Need to Create Some Healthy Boundaries. Here’s How.

It’s important to establish healthy boundaries with your in-laws. Otherwise, you can add a lot of stress to your marriage relationship. But...
the stories we tell ourselves

The Stories We Tell Ourselves: Why Most of Our Fights Start in Our Imagination...

In her recent Netflix special author, researcher, and all-around national treasure Brené Brown describes an argument she  had with her husband. They were...
ultimatums

Ultimatums Are Bad, Right? Actually, They’re VITAL For a Thriving Marriage. Here’s Why.

When things happen in married life, whether bad or good, a common reaction is to blame (or give credit) someone else. While they may have...
communication in marriage

Actually, Communication in Marriage Isn’t What’s Most Important. What Is Might Surprise You.

What you have probably heard is the number one problem is communication in marriage. I don’t believe that’s the case. It’s a problem,...
it's not about the nail

It’s Not About the Nail? Actually, Sometimes It IS About the Nail

It's Not About the Nail was a popular marriage video that made the rounds (we've done a post on it!. This post is...
arguing

How to Ask For What You Need Without Arguing

Sometimes you just have to ask your husband for what you need! I’ve been talking all month about how to change the dynamic...
angry

Angry? The Right Question To Ask Isn’t “What?” But “Why?”

In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. –Psalm 4:4 Recently, I had...
to do list

What to Do When You Are Last on Your Spouse’s To Do List?

Today's post from the always-helpful America's Family Coaches is a great conversation starter between you and your spouse. The desire to feel...
how to love

The Greatest Gift Marriage Offers Us Isn’t What You Think

Today's post from Gary Thomas is something I've been thinking about a lot lately. We think marriage is a place to receive...
accept your spouse

Accept Your Spouse As They Are, Even When Who They Are Changes

People change. Very few of us have the same figure or physique we had on our wedding day as we walked down...
help

Sometimes Your Spouse Doesn’t Want Your Help. Here’s The Reason Why.

The scene is a couple driving in the car on the way to dinner: Silence for several minutes. “What’s wrong?” “Nothing.” A few more minutes of...
bids for connection

Bids for Connection: The Tool This Expert Says Is the Secret to Great...

It’s not big, blow out fights that wreck a marriage. It’s how we treat each other day to day. And that’s why...
messy

Messy v. Neat Freak: How to Navigate the Cleanliness War In Your Marriage

Q: One of us is very neat, but the other is very messy. How can we keep from driving each other crazy? A:...
tone

Tone Deaf: Is What You’re Saying Hidden By How You’re Saying It?

I've said this several times, but Doug Fields is both a ludicrously gifted communicator and a very kind mentor and friend of...
initiating

Initiating (and Declining) Sex Without Starting a Fight

For many married couples initiating sex can be an awkward moment that leads to conflict or hurt feelings. They’re not sure what...
perspective

Your Spouse’s Perspective Is Annoying. You Should Listen Anyway!

I don’t know about you, but I often overlook the Lord’s eternal perspective. He sees all of time, from beginning to end,...
100 percent

The Only “Fair” Marriage Is When Both Spouses Give 100 Percent.

Happily married Eric and Jill climbed out of bed at their normal Saturday morning hour. They had a lot to do around...
self-righteousness

Self-Righteousness is Satan’s Favorite Attack Against Your Marriage. Here’s What You Can Do About...

What if one of the most dangerous attitudes for believers is self-righteousness? What if it’s possible to be “right” and toxic at the...
sex life

Does Your Sex Life Feel Broken? You Can Always Rebuild It! Here’s How.

Today a reader is asking, “how do you reset your sex life?” What if it’s been really difficult in the past, but now...
fight

Want to Stop a Fight Before It Starts? Here’s How!

Do you sometimes feel the frustration simmering below the surface? Can you sense there might be an argument brewing? Let us encourage...
love & respect

Why The Hugely Popular Book “Love & Respect” Could Be Harmful to Your Sex...

When I was first married, sex hurt. And I felt terribly guilty about that. Have you ever looked back on your younger self...
obstacles

The 3 Biggest Obstacles to a Healthy Marriage, and the Tools To Overcome Them

The other day I was telling my coworker stories from the early days of my marriage. It was one of those moments...
forgive

A Marriage That Can’t Forgive, Won’t Survive

Miranda had been spending money on a secret credit card for months. She hid receipts, she removed price tags, she sometimes even...
positivity

Want a Happier Marriage? Practice the Power of Positivity

One of the most often asked questions I get related to relationships is, “What are key ingredients that make up a successful relationship?” The...
stinking thinking

Top 8 Stinking Thinking Thoughts That Hurt Relationships

These 8 thinking stinking thoughts could hurt your marriage. Stinking Thinking #1: All-or-nothing thinking You see things in black-or-white categories. You think in absolutes such as “always”,...
fight

25 Ways to Fight Fair (#9 Is a Game-Changer)

Please note that the words “fight” and “fighting fair” are used below to mean expressing one’s disagreement or anger to another constructively....
In-Laws

How To Have Healthy Boundaries With Your In-Laws

Q: My mother-in-law really has my husband under her thumb. How can I get her to back off without hurting either of...
stay

5 Signs That Your Marriage is Going to Make It

People often ask us, how can I tell if my marriage will last? In some cases, it may not be easy to...
finances

Are Finances Supposed to Be the Man’s Job?

Q: My husband is terrible at handling the finances because he hates paperwork. I like to take care of the bills, but...
When we mentor couples they are often focused on who’s wrong or who’s right. When we ask them about their goal for marriage, they usually agree that they want a better relationship. The question changes from who’s wrong or who’s right to, “What will build our bond?"

“In It To Win It” Is a Bad Goal For Marriage

My wife, Michelle, and I went on a beach vacation in early January. It was great to get away and to relax....
married sex

How Bad Married Sex Can Actually Be Good For You!

Steve meets Michelle. They fall in love and get married shortly after graduation. For our story...
happy marriage

Want a Happy Marriage? Stop Asking Your Spouse to Do This.

Don’t you think it would be cruel to ask your spouse to hold down five jobs? Let’s say your...
unconditional love

The 1 Vital Thing Your Spouse Needs to Hear From You Today

A quick note up front. I (Josh) love talking about how to create and sustain healthy marriages. If you are a pastor...
stop fighting

5 Easy Ways to Stop Fighting With Your Spouse

Stop fighting with your spouse…if only it were so simple! Let’s face it…communication is very complex.
goals

Set These Realistic Goals for Your Marriage in 2019

A few years ago, at the suggestion of a friend, Troy and I began the tradition of setting goals for our marriage...
hardest

Last Year Was One of the Hardest Years of My Life … but One...

Most of the time here at Thriving Marriages we bring you the best content we've found around the web for building a...
change

Husbands: God Doesn’t Want You to Change Your Wife

I’ve been asked several times, “Gary, what do you do when Sacred Marriage doesn’t work?” At first, I was confused by the question....
husband share his emotions

Why Won’t My Husband Share His Emotions With Me?

Why won't my husband share his emotions with me? It's all... “Man up.” “Suck it up.”...
spouse

Are You Always Irritated at Your Spouse?

Think back to the day you were married.  How did you feel about your partner?  If you’re like many couples, you were...