best marriage story

The Best Marriage Story is . . . Boring?!?

The best marriage story you’ll ever hear might sound a little boring, but it’s the story you and I both want for our children.
i wasn't ready

I Wasn’t Ready for Marriage

The more I would grow to love my husband, the more vulnerable to hurt I would become, and I wasn't ready for that.
security in marriage

Significance and Security in Marriage Come From God

Marriages often fail because one spouse looks to the other to completely satisfy their innate need for significance and security in marriage.
debt free

Steps Toward a Debt Free Marriage

I believe God wants every couple to do the debt free dance of joy, and I believe that while getting there isn't easy, it's also not complicated.
healthy marriage

Four MORE Ways to a Healthy Marriage

In search of a healthy marriage, I share four more ways couples can increase their commitment and strengthen their marriage.
unconditional love

Unconditional Love – The One Vital Thing Your Spouse Needs to Hear From You

Marriage is at its best when we see a glimpse of the unconditional love of God reflected in our spouse’s eyes. Here's how.
strengthen your marriage

7 Suggestions to Strengthen Your Marriage

The key in those difficult times of of trouble isn’t to panic, but to intentionally work to strengthen your marriage.
commitment in marriage

3 Ways to Grow Your Commitment in Marriage

Words alone don’t ensure fidelity but they sure do help strengthen your commitment in marriage to each other.
low maintenance spouse

The Dangers of a Low Maintenance Spouse

Because she is such a low maintenance spouse, I might take her for granted or even take advantage of her. I don’t want this to be our story.
living together

Living Together – Is Marriage “Just a Piece of Paper?”

The option of living together, rather than moving into a formal marriage contract, has proliferated in our culture.
healthy

Healthy Marriage Habits: Daily, Weekly, Monthly, & Yearly

To develop a healthy marriage, it is important that two vital elements come together. First, at some point you must draw a line...
christian marriage

Christian Marriage – Pilgrims Traveling Same Path

The Apostle Peter sets Christian marriage on the highest plane possible—husbands and wives possess the same eternal inheritance.
dangerous person

How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage: the dangerous person profile

There's a famous line from the movie Jerry Maguire: "you complete me." When Tom Cruise says this he has realized that Renée Zellweger is his once-in-a-lifetime,...
flee

How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage: “it’s time to flee”

This is part 2 of a series, this week on knowing when, like Joseph from the Bible, it's time to flee from temptation. You...
affair

How to Protect Your Marriage From An Affair

In 25% of current marriages one or both spouses are having an affair. That's 1-in-4. It's a staggering, heartbreaking statistic, and highlights an important truth: every...
reasons

19 Reasons I Love My Wife.

On this date, 19 years ago, Kristen and I said, “I do”! Apart from following Jesus, I can’t think of a better...
relational revelation

The Power of Inviting Your Spouse Into Your Hurt

As a Christian psychologist, I sometimes feel like I’m in the crosshairs of pastors and therapists who disagree about the road to...
you can choose

You Can Choose a Good Marriage, Starting Today.

There's a moment in the recent film The Way Back I can't stop thinking about. Ben Affleck plays a deeply troubled, alcoholic coach of...
protecting

Truly Loving Your Spouse Means Protecting Them

If you cherish some thing, you are committed to protecting it. In the same way, if you cherish some one, you will protect...
hurt your spouse

What To Do When You’ve Hurt Your Spouse

Have you ever hurt your spouse in some way? All right, so it’s a trick question. Of course you have hurt your...
chores

How Do You Dole Out Your Household Chores?

Household chores represent probably the most pressing “minor issue” in marriage for a lot of couples because it’s a conflict that never...
thinking

Are You Thinking About What You’re Thinking?

If we want a healthy marriage, if we want a marriage that is marked by cherishing, we have to think about what we...
cheerleader

How To Be Your Spouse’s Biggest Cheerleader

What would it mean to you to face each day knowing there is someone cheering you on no matter what happens? How...
persevering love

Persevering Love: How To Survive the Tough Times

If you want to safeguard your marriage against the storms and struggles of life, if you want a deeper bond and a...
emotional affair

Is Your Marriage in Danger of an Emotional Affair?

The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy says national surveys indication 15 percent of married women and 25 percent of married...
rock solid marriage

Building Rock Solid Marriages That Last.

If you’re married, you’ve probably figured out that marriage isn’t always easy.  And it’s not supposed to be.  Like anything, time comes...
hero

Hero Worship: The 1 Thing That Will Kill a Marriage

It’s a cliché now for people to proclaim, “When I was a young boy, my dad was my hero. When I became...
spouse

Remember to Cherish What’s Special In Your Spouse.

Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. –Ephesians 5:33 One...
think

Think About It: Who You Focus On Is Who You Love

Do you want to cultivate and enjoy a great marriage? Do you want to be more energized and less discouraged, regardless...
spouse

The Only Person You Need ISN’T Your Spouse

This week I’m excited to announce that a book I’ve been talking about for months is finally available: Together Through the Storms by Sarah...
fighting

4 Ways to Keep Fighting When You Want to Give Up

“Kurt Bubna is a GREAT writer and thinker. I love his vulnerability and common sense approach to our spiritual life. This blog...
forgiveness

6 Ways Forgiveness Isn’t What You Think It is.

Forgiveness can be costly. A major step in the process of forgiveness is releasing your offending spouse, giving up on revenge and...
cherishing

The Key to Cherishing Your Spouse For a Lifetime

Neuroscience tells us that the shelf-life of an infatuation is about twelve to eighteen months. It’s a nice run while it lasts,...
real love

Real Love is Tough Like Tires (But in a Romantic Way)

Images matter, and how we imagine what love should look like has a huge impact on our satisfaction in marriage and our...
golden rules

3 Golden Rules For Rekindling Romance

Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church–a love marked by giving, not...
christian marriage

7 Common Christian Marriage Myths. #3 Might Surprise You!

Q: We have a Christian marriage—so why is it so painful? Shouldn’t being believers shield us from the problems we’re having? A: Many...
boundaries in marriage

Boundaries in Marriage: How to Be a Joseph, Not a David

David and Joseph. Two prominent people in the Bible. Both were godly men who faced sexual temptation. One yielded and paid a...
tough love

3 Tough Love Truths About Your Marriage

A lay counselor who has worked with hundreds of premarital couples told me that he particularly looks forward to the session when...
inject

Inject Some A.W.E. Into Your Marriage.

There’s never a better time than today to recommit to some basic marriage principles that can strengthen your bonds and inject a fresh...
never surrender

“Never Surrender.” Don’t Give Up, Your Marriage Can Thrive For a Lifetime.

A divorce lawyer recently posted an article arguing that the vow “till death do us part” is passé, unrealistic, and needs to...
grateful

The Key To Being Happy In Your Marriage is Being Grateful For What You...

Nicolas Rolin frolicked, adulterized, gambled, and even murdered his way through the fifteenth century until he looked mortality in the face and...
parents' divorce

Your Parents’ Divorce Doesn’t Mean You’re Doomed to Get Divorced Too.

Q: I want to get married, but my parents had a terrible marriage and got divorced. Does my parents' divorce mean my...
husbands, love your wives

Husbands, Love Your Wives Like Jesus. Here’s 3 Tips For How to Do That.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her – Ephesians 5:25 We have all read it...
close the loop

Close the Loop: The One Vital Habit That Will Keep Your Marriage Moving Forward

The moment you do or say something that hurts your marriage partner, you stand at a fork in the road. Whether you...
adultery

Adultery Is Alarmingly Common, But It Doesn’t Have to Happen to You.

For men and women, adultery begins in the heart. And for men particularly, it begins when the heart is not guarded against...
third

Husbands, You Come Third On Your Wife’s List of Priorities

One of the most frequent requests I get is to write a book specifically for husbands. The reason I haven’t done that...
to do list

What to Do When You Are Last on Your Spouse’s To Do List?

Today's post from the always-helpful America's Family Coaches is a great conversation starter between you and your spouse. The desire to feel...
how to love

The Greatest Gift Marriage Offers Us Isn’t What You Think

Today's post from Gary Thomas is something I've been thinking about a lot lately. We think marriage is a place to receive...
accept your spouse

Accept Your Spouse As They Are, Even When Who They Are Changes

People change. Very few of us have the same figure or physique we had on our wedding day as we walked down...
lies

We All Believe Lies. Which Ones Do You Struggle With?

A few weeks ago I moderated a late night panel at the Merge premarital class at Watermark Community Church. The panel included two couples who...