A common pitfall, which all of us can be vulnerable to, is convincing ourselves that “so and so” at work understands us better than our spouse does. However, just because a co-worker comes across as charming – it doesn’t mean they really are. If you are frustrated with your marriage and you’re thinking about starting something new, here are three things to consider before having an affair.
Most of us are inclined to be more cordial, or more friendly at work and other places outside the home. Those qualities are vital components of teamwork and customer service. By the end of a shift, we’re tired and once we reach home, the sight of a familiar face may not trigger a need to be fully present, or pleasant for that matter. Over time, of course, this becomes a habit. It’s very easy to take our spouse for granted, thinking they will always be there, but in the workplace we are at peak performance, because our goal is to provide income. Let’s break this down: you’re only seeing the good side of the people you work with. That’s what makes the idea of an affair so tempting.
Too many women have told me this one: “the guy I work with is so much more willing to help me than my husband is”. Work with me for a moment. Please. Your husband is responsible for you and so many of the things in your life, that it would make a pretty long list if we write them down. The “guy at work” is focused solely on completing the tasks necessary to make it through a shift. He’s getting paid to be there, and he’s getting paid to help you, it’s not a show of affection. Don’t allow the fact that the two of you don’t have any baggage together make him seem attractive.T
This one is becoming more common with men. “She understands me more than my wife does, and I can talk openly to her without being judged.” A lot of us enjoy chit chatting when we have downtime on the job. Something this simple can lead to a very dangerous trap. Talking about personal topics and exchanging private information, take you one conversation at a time, into that person’s life- usually unknowingly. Women are good listeners and like to share their experiences by talking. So, it’s not that your female co-workers understand you more than your wife, you may be communicating with them more than you are with your wife. Also, because they have no attachment to you whatsoever, of course they won’t judge you. Having unresolved issues with your spouse, makes you vulnerable to an affair with total strangers who don’t even matter. If you are willing to work on what you already have, I have a feeling that you’ll save yourself-and everyone else a lot of heartache.