toxic

Toxic People Can Poison a Fruitful Marriage

If we value fruitfulness as Jesus does, then literally, all of us need to weed out the toxic relationships that are around our marriage.
broken trust

Can Broken Trust Can Be Restored?

Your spouse has blown it. You don’t trust him/her anymore. But you want to save your marriage, despite your broken trust. How can you learn to heal? You’re going to need to rebuild your marriage from the bottom up.
marriage

The Two Words that Kill a Marriage

Do you know what two words will kill a marriage? Many couples get caught in this two-word trap. Here's how you can break free.
types of conflict

3 Types of Conflict in Marriage: Don’t Confuse Them!

I think types of conflicts in marriage can be divided into three different root causes, and each should be handled differently.
selfishness

Selfishness is the #1 Threat to Your Marriage’s Health

Often cited as the number one problem is the lack of communication. I don’t believe that’s the case. I believe there's a deeper problem.
fights

When Little Fights Become Big Problems

The moment you do or say something that hurts your spouse, you stand at a fork in the road, whether you are aware of it or not.
following Jesus

“I’m Faithfully Following Jesus, So Why Is My Marriage Such a Mess?”

Many Christians walk away from their faith because what they know about following Jesus isn’t consistent with the loneliness they face.
words hurt

Words Hurt, So Don’t Say Everything You Think.

When someone exhausts your patience and you want to hit back with a comeback zinger... just don't. Words hurt, and are never worth it. 
love languages

Can Love Languages Be Harmful For Your Marriage?

Love languages are great as tools to demonstrate love, but can they sour your relationship?
why do people cheat

Why Do People Cheat in Relationships, And Whose Fault Is It?

If your spouse has an affair, are you partially to blame? Why do people cheat in relationships anyway?  That’s been something I’ve been...
help

Sometimes Your Spouse Doesn’t Want Your Help. Here’s Why.

In married life we can misread and overstep our bounds. Even when this is under the umbrella of trying to help, beware...
spouse less annoying

How to Make Your Spouse Less Annoying

Wanna make your spouse less annoying? It’s obvious there are some marriage issues that are so big they cannot be ignored. Left unresolved, these...
7 prayers for a struggling marriage

7 Prayers for a Struggling Marriage

While not every marriage is struggling right this moment, nearly all marriages hit crisis moments at some point in time. Today's post from Elizabeth...
confrontation in marriage

How to Win Every Confrontation in Your Marriage

When it comes to confrontation in marriage, I have a rule of thumb that has proved itself to be true over and over again: The...
arguments

What If Your Private Arguments Went Public?

A few days ago while in a disagreement with one of my boys, we exchanged a few “pleasantries” that I don’t want to repeat...
spouse

Are You Always Irritated at Your Spouse?

Are you always irritated with your spouse? Think back to the day you were married.  How did you feel about your partner? ...
stay

Staying Power: 5 Signs Your Marriage Will Make It

People often ask us, how can I tell if my marriage will have staying power? In some cases, it may not be...
sex life

Sex Life Feel Broken? How to Rebuild It!

Today a reader is asking, “how do you reset your sex life?” What if it’s been really difficult in the past, but now...

How to Stop a Financial Fight Before it Starts

This is an excerpt from Cherie and Brian Lowe’s  book, Your Money, Your Marriage, about how to avoid a financial fight.  Everyday after school, I...
fighting about money

Stop Fighting About Money – 10 Ways Forward

Fighting about money is the number one predictor of divorce, so having a game plan going into financial discussions is a crucial part of...
change

Husbands: God Doesn’t Want You to Change Your Wife

God has not called you to change your wife. Instead, He has commanded you to love her as Christ loves the church.
healing

Healing From Your Past Is Hard. It’s Also Worth It.

Tina and I met together for counseling several years ago to work through some traumatic experiences from her past. A year after...
fresh start

It’s Never Too Late For a Fresh Start.

A story is told about a factory burning down that was owned and managed by the great inventor Thomas Edison, and the...
mental load

Husbands, Help Carry Your Wife’s Mental Load.

It’s the last day of our emotional labor and mental load series! We wrapped up the big teaching points yesterday talking about how...
anxiety

Anxiety Doesn’t Always Win: Finding Joy In Stress

Anxiety plagues many of us, stealing our peace of mind, but also inserting itself into our marriages. And that can cause some real...
forgiveness

6 Ways Forgiveness Isn’t What You Think It is.

Forgiveness can be costly. A major step in the process of forgiveness is releasing your offending spouse, giving up on revenge and...
reconciliation

Ruthlessly Pursue Reconciliation With Your Spouse

Caveat: This blog post is for those in relatively healthy, perhaps difficult, but not abusive relationships. I was five thousand miles away, in...
adventure

Don’t Avoid Conflict, Treat it Like an Adventure.

Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it. –1 Peter 3:10-11 (NLT) Personally, I hate conflict....
character trait

A Negative Character Trait CAN Change. Here’s How.

Is it fair to say to your spouse, “This is just the way I am” when it comes to a negative character...
depression

How to Love a Spouse Struggling with Depression

So, as a loving husband or wife, what do you do if you feel like your spouse is being swallowed up by depression?...
negative emotion

Negative Emotion is Vital For a Healthy Relationship

In preparation for my shiny new blog plan (month long themes complete with corresponding love experiments, social media posts and podcast episodes),...
giving too much

Are You Giving Too Much This Holiday Season?

I’m an expert at killing—plants, that is. No matter what I do, I cannot seem to keep my plants alive. They call...

“O Holy Fight.” Navigating Conflict this Christmas

Every significant relationship will face challenges with communication and conflict resolution. This holds true for couples, families, friends, and co-workers. Married couples...
jealousy

Jealousy Isn’t Always Unhealthy

You feel jealousy when you experience the unpleasant sensation of a rival. No matter how much your spouse may attempt to reassure...
christian marriage

7 Common Christian Marriage Myths. #3 Might Surprise You!

Q: We have a Christian marriage—so why is it so painful? Shouldn’t being believers shield us from the problems we’re having? A: Many...
I'm sorry

“I’m Sorry” Can Make All the Difference In Your Marriage

You know things are “off” between you. That cutting remark still stings. Time passes with a promise unfulfilled for another day. Loyalties are...
conflict

Conflict and Fighting Aren’t the Same Thing. Here’s Why That Matters.

I’ve shared with you in past blog posts that my husband, Mike, and I are very, very different. Early in our marriage,...
close the loop

Close the Loop: The One Vital Habit That Will Keep Your Marriage Moving Forward

The moment you do or say something that hurts your marriage partner, you stand at a fork in the road. Whether you...
the stories we tell ourselves

The Stories We Tell Ourselves: Why Most of Our Fights Start in Our Imagination...

In her recent Netflix special author, researcher, and all-around national treasure Brené Brown describes an argument she  had with her husband. They were...
communication in marriage

Actually, Communication in Marriage Isn’t What’s Most Important. What Is Might Surprise You.

What you have probably heard is the number one problem is communication in marriage. I don’t believe that’s the case. It’s a problem,...
it's not about the nail

It’s Not About the Nail? Actually, Sometimes It IS About the Nail

It's Not About the Nail was a popular marriage video that made the rounds (we've done a post on it!. This post is...
arguing

How to Ask For What You Need Without Arguing

Sometimes you just have to ask your husband for what you need! I’ve been talking all month about how to change the dynamic...
angry

Angry? The Right Question To Ask Isn’t “What?” But “Why?”

In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. –Psalm 4:4 Recently, I had...
to do list

What to Do When You Are Last on Your Spouse’s To Do List?

Today's post from the always-helpful America's Family Coaches is a great conversation starter between you and your spouse. The desire to feel...
how to love

The Greatest Gift Marriage Offers Us Isn’t What You Think

Today's post from Gary Thomas is something I've been thinking about a lot lately. We think marriage is a place to receive...
accept your spouse

Accept Your Spouse As They Are, Even When Who They Are Changes

People change. Very few of us have the same figure or physique we had on our wedding day as we walked down...
bids for connection

Bids for Connection: The Tool This Expert Says Is the Secret to Great...

It’s not big, blow out fights that wreck a marriage. It’s how we treat each other day to day. And that’s why...
messy

Messy v. Neat Freak: How to Navigate the Cleanliness War In Your Marriage

Q: One of us is very neat, but the other is very messy. How can we keep from driving each other crazy? A:...
tone

Tone Deaf: Is What You’re Saying Hidden By How You’re Saying It?

I've said this several times, but Doug Fields is both a ludicrously gifted communicator and a very kind mentor and friend of...
initiating

Initiating (and Declining) Sex Without Starting a Fight

For many married couples initiating sex can be an awkward moment that leads to conflict or hurt feelings. They’re not sure what...