Okay, first things first. This is not a list of “things I (Josh) do all the time because I’m a great husband.” As a matter of fact, half of these ideas came from me thinking of what I should be doing. But like I said yesterday, we need more lists like this that are written for guys. So, gentlemen, read this list and find one or two that fit your wife/life stage. Ladies, I’m a guy which means I probably got some of these wrong. But if this list, overall, is filled with stuff you’d want than forward it to your husband with a “hey, you’re a wonderful husband, but this list is pretty good” note attached. Enjoy!
Also, if you didn’t know, if you are someone you know is going through a difficult season of life or experiencing a crisis of faith, I wrote a book called “The God Who Wasn’t There” that’s available for purchase on Amazon.
Do that Thing she always wants you to do, but you never do because you hate the Thing
She knows you hate the Thing, and if you do the Thing she will see it as the most noble act of love ever done … or at the very least she’ll think it was nice.
Give her a back/foot/hand massage with absolutely zero expectation of sex
Did you catch that last part? ZERO EXPECTATION, guys. ZEEEEEERO.
On a completely random day, send 5 texts each describing one thing you love about her
Spread them throughout the day, and mix up the content. And yes, some of them can be sexy texts, as long as your wife’s text don’t show up on the lock screen.
Ideally this is food she loves, but if she normally does the food prep then basically anything you do is a huge win, if you’re actually the one making it.
Take the kids … like, take them anywhere … anywhere that’s away from her
She loves the kids. LOVES them. But she also might occasionally want to mail them FedEx to Abu Dhabi. If you’d prefer your wife not to commit an intercontinental felony then take your small humans to the park and then lunch, and tell your wife to enjoy her time alone.
Schedule a weekend away together
Just know your wife. If she likes surprises, then surprise her. Mine would enjoy planning the weekend together. Lean into her preferences.
Schedule a weekend away … by herself (or with friends)
One benefit of this, she’ll remember that she likes you, and start missing you. You might feel the same! And then when she gets back …
Have an [clears throat discretely] intimate moment together, only make it all about her. Like, all about her. Guys, do you get what I’m saying here?[sighs in frustration] I’m talking about oral sex for her guys, with no reciprocation. Let her be the only one that orgasms (for once!).
Buy her flowers
Or if you are on a budget, buy A flower. The price and quantity aren’t the point. If you don’t know what her favorite flowers are then ask.
Watch a cheesy movie together
I hate romantic comedies … which is all the more reason for me to lean into this one. Crap.
Plan a date full of things you know she loves
Sometimes “exploring the city” or “trying new things” dates are fun, but what if you planned a date that from start to finish centered around all her favorite things, almost as if you were planning to propose. Oooh! What if you actually re-proposed at the end of the night! I just came up with that one while writing this. That’s pretty good!
Prepare a bath for her with scented soaps, candles, music, etc.
And if after 20ish minutes alone you got in with her …
Put down your phone and ask her about her day
This one is huge. Seriously. Giving her your undivided attention and interest is a huge gift.
Tell her why she’s a great mom
Parenting consists of feeling like maybe you’re raising sociopathic monsters for hours on end, followed by one or two sweet moments that make you think “maybe they’ll be okay.” If your wife is a mom – and especially a stay at home mom – she needs to know she’s doing a good job, so tell her!
Compliment her publicly
This is a big deal, guys. There is nothing I love more than seeing a husband gush about his wife in public, and few things that bother me more than seeing the opposite. Be your wife’s biggest fan in public. Wear face paint and one of those “you’re #1” giant foam hands!
Or, you know, just say something nice about her.