Date Nights are Overrated

Today I ran across a sweet post written by a marriage blogger. It was a series of fruit of the spirit-themed date nights for couples. It’s an ingenious idea, really, and everyone who was discussing it in the comments seemed excited about the prospect.

But, I laughed.

I was imagining Chad and me setting out to complete the series of date nights, and I estimated that we would be finished sometime in the spring of 2026. I wonder if a spiritually-themed date night series loses its effectiveness if it takes you nine years to go on nine dates?

Needless to say, we don’t date much.

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I can’t remember the last time I put on a pretty dress for a night out. We’re in the thick of life with three fun kids and a vibrant church, and there’s no time for date nights. Yet, almost eighteen years into this thing, our marriage has never been stronger. We have never been more spiritually in tune. And, we’ve never truly liked each other more.

A good marriage doesn’t depend on how many date nights you plan.

Marriage is really about the day-to-day, nitty gritty, in-the-trenches stuff.  When you depend on each other every day, trust each other every day, and laugh with each other every day, a measly one hour meal in a chain restaurant kind of pales in comparison.

So, if you are not in a phase where dating is much of a priority, take heart. There are plenty of opportunities all around you to love with reckless abandon, to sacrifice willingly, to live out your vows every single day. Don’t believe the hype that only marriages with frequent date nights are good and healthy and happy. There are plenty of us out here who are more in love than ever before, even without a calendar full of scheduled romance. Date when you can, but don’t fail to appreciate the romantic importance of just living every day together as friends. You could be missing the miraculous love that’s right in front of you. You live together. Don’t waste the time you could spend laughing and loving each other because you are so convinced that good marriages only happen in a corner booth someplace.

As we say in Texas, that’s just bull corn.

Marriage is miraculous and fun, with or without date nights. Just keep loving each other. And, someday, if you find yourself in a corner booth someplace, enjoy that, too. Don’t ever lose sight of the fact that you are so, so blessed to be facing this world with your true friend.

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