Q: Between work, the kids, and taking care of the house, I have almost no time or energy to dedicate to my husband. What can I do to make sure he doesn’t feel neglected?
A: Kids are going to take your attention 24/7, and they will never pull back from that. They’ll take all of you they can and more. The same can be said of your job. So, you will have to be the one to put up boundaries so that you can save something for your husband. Listen to Martha:
“My husband works a lot of hours. We own our own business. I would just like to know how to put that jazz and sparkle back into the romance that leads to intimacy. We have a two year old. It seems like all we do is say hi and bye. I’m with my son all day, so I spend more time with my little guy than I do my own husband. I know when he comes home he’s really tired. It’s been like checklist—Okay, we’ve got to make sure we have sex. But too often, we don’t, and I know that’s not good. I’d like to find out how I can be more romantic.”
If you’re in a situation like Martha’s, it’s going to be up to you to do some planning. If you don’t have it, go and find a copy of our book, 40 Unforgettable Dates with Your Mate, and plan a date night with your husband.
Set aside one night this week where you can plan ahead for sex. As unromantic as that sounds, it really is romantic if you give him something to look forward to. And try to give each other a few uninterrupted minutes at the end of each day to just reconnect.
*For more practical marriage advice, check out The Great Marriage Q&A Book. It’s available in our online bookstore!