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The Secret Fears Behind Asking for Help

What’s the big deal about letting our husbands help with things? Depending on the woman, I think the reasons can vary for why it’s so hard for us to say yes to their offers to help.

1. We feel silly asking for help with things we already know we can do in our sleep.

2. We feel annoyed that they’re offering, and wonder if they think we aren’t doing a good job.

3. We feel confident in our systems and more confident they will just mess it up (and we’ll have to go back and redo it anyway).

4. We feel territorial and just really don’t want to share those parts we’ve become accustomed to as “ours.”

5. We feel like their time could be better spent on other things.

Cliff and I have had, ahem, “discussions” over this very thing, many times. He wants to help and I don’t want him to be bothered. He wants to pitch in and give me a hand with dinner, and I think it’s a waste of two people in the kitchen when there are other things that need to be done. He offers to run to the store when he realizes we’re out of something, and I insist I’ll just grab it the next time I go.

But I’m learning why I need my husband’s help even when I *think* I don’t.

Marriage is designed for two people, not just for one. It’s our example of the beautiful relationship Christ has with His bride, the church. People seem to get pretty stuck on Ephesians 5:22, but not everyone thinks about Ephesians 5:25.

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Look at these verses:

In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hates his own flesh but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, since we are members of His body (Ephesians 5:28-30).

Reading that, I have to wonder: if I think I’m showing love to my husband by saying no every time he offers his help, then when does he find his opportunities to show me love… if I never let him?