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Do You Know Your Marriage’s Superpower?

I really, really enjoyed this post from Scott Kedersha. It’s a creative angle on a topic we haven’t covered much here at Thriving Marriages, and I’m a sucker for superhero movies (I write about them a lot) so … what’s your marriage’s superpower? What’s it’s kryptonite? This is a GREAT date night discussion to have with your spouse soon. 

Summer time is the season for great, blockbuster movies. So far this summer I’ve seen Uncle Drew, Incredibles 2, Avengers: Infinity War, and A Quiet Place.

No summer movie season is complete without its fair share of superhero movies. Whether you’re partial to Marvel, DC, or something else, summer movies always pack a punch (pun intended).

What makes superheroes unique is they typically have some kind of superpower. Superman can fly. Antman can get small. Thor has a fearsome and powerful hammer. Batman? He just has a lot of money and really cool toys (and happens to be my favorite).

But in addition to their superpower, each hero has a flaw, which is some kind of weakness or struggle that makes them imperfect. The epitome of the “weakness” is Superman’s relationship with kryptonite. This one is so well known that the word kryptonite has become synonymous with an individual’s weakness.

In our Watermark Community Church staff prayer meeting last week, our teaching pastor, Jonathan “JP” Pokluda, challenged our staff to think through our superpower and our kryptonite. In other words, what is the one thing you excel at in a unique way (your superpower), and what’s the one area of weakness that could take you out (kryptonite)?

I love this question because it causes us to celebrate the unique ways God made each of us (see Romans 12, 1 Corinthians 12, Psalm 139). It also allows to see areas where we fall short and where we can celebrate the gifts of others.

As we discussed our superpower and kryptonite with each other in our staff meeting, I thought of married couples.

What if every couple had their own superpower and kryptonite?

What is the one thing you and your significant other do that’s like a superpower? And what’s the area where you most struggle as a couple?

Examples of Superpowers

  • My friends Tom and Kathi crush it in the area of hospitality. Their doors are always open and they even say their home is not their own: It’s God’s home to do with it as He pleases. They cook, host, and love welcoming others into their home and lives.
  • Some couples are great at sharing the gospel with friends and neighbors. They’re intentional about initiating with non-Christian friends for the purpose of building the relationship and sharing about Christ.
  • Some couples are just FUN! It’s contagious. When you’re around them, you laugh, celebrate, and enjoy each other more.
  • Other couples resolve disagreements really well. They make time for each other and make it a high priority to keep the peace and unity in their marriage, even when it’s challenging (Romans 12:18, Ephesians 4:1-3).
  • Many of my married friend’s possess superpowers in the ways they parent and raise their kids. They’re creative, challenging, and always help their children grow spiritually, emotionally, and relationally.
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Question: What’s your married couple superpower?

Examples of Kryptonite

  • Kristen and I are always busy. It’s better than it used to be, but some weeks go by and we seem to never have time for anyone else. It’s a problem and we need to address it.
  • Some couples are just too nice. This may seem strange to be a weakness, but it’s possible to be so nice you neglect to have hard conversations with each other. One of God’s purposes in marriage is that we would be fruitful. In their book Fierce Marriage, Ryan and Selena Frederick talk about how we can help each other grow and become more like Christ in marriage. If we’re too nice, we’re afraid to wound each other so we brush it all under the rug (Proverbs 27:6) and miss out on the opportunity to grow (spiritual) fruit.
  • I have some friends who are too focused on their family. They worship comfort and safety that’s found in their home and don’t invite others in because it might be inconvenient to their creature comforts.
  • This one gives me the Heebie Jeebies. Some couples think they need to have their stuff all together so they’re fake and inauthentic. No one likes a fake. We can’t let anyone know there are problems, right?? Wrong.

Question: What’s your married couple kryptonite?

So here’s the blockbuster idea for your next date night. In honor of summer superhero movies, discuss with each other your couple superpower and krytponite.

  • What makes you unique?
  • What do you think your friends would say you’re great at?
  • Or, what are some areas where others think you could grow as a couple?
  • What do you wish you did more of?

Here’s one other suggestion. After you discuss as a couple, share your superpower and kryptonite with other couples. If you’re in a married community group, this would be a great discussion you can have together.

Celebrate your superpower and discuss how you can grow in your areas marked by kryptonite.

And then go watch a great summer, blockbuster movie together!