Why do people file for divorce? Well, it all depends on who you ask. Now, these seven reasons aren’t in any order. I’m not saying they’re biblical reasons to divorce. But, they’re the most common reasons I’ve heard from working with struggling couples over the years.
- Poor communication
- Lack of sex
- Marrying the wrong person
- Loss of personal identity
- I found my true soulmate.
Why do people file for divorce? Every situation and every marriage is different. Usually, so are the reasons people have for leaving the marriage. However, the ways to overcome the issues and prevent divorce are pretty uniform. Yes, they will look different in every home, but research and study show some pretty clear patterns for couples that do well.
7 Reasons for Divorce – And How to Overcome them
#1 They get grace
They realize both spouses are profoundly imperfect and profoundly in need of grace and forgiveness. When spouses decide to love each other despite faults, as opposed to holding faults against one another, it sets a marriage free. For the believer of Jesus, you simply offer the same grace and forgiveness you get from God to your spouse. Pretty simple: Forgive as you have been forgiven. The closer you are to Jesus, the more love you have to offer. Healthy marriages are often characterized by strong relationships with the Lord.
#2 They spend time together
The Gottman studies show that, if a couple spends five hours of undistracted time together each week, they are typically in the top three percent of marital satisfaction. Crazy! It seems like you really reap what you sow. Invest much, reap much. Invest little, reap little. Take time each week to spend time together and watch what is does for your marriage.
#3 They express gratitude
Thriving couples typically choose to dwell on the good in one another. For most of us, we have plenty of good traits and plenty of bad ones. The couples who focus on the good actually like each other. Shocker, the ones that don’t get on each other’s nerves.
#4 They reject porn and prioritize sex
Sex has some pretty mysterious power – both for the bad and good. When a couple prioritizes sex and intentionally comes together consistently, it can do wanders for a marriage. Plus, a good sex life in marriage often has a by-product of helping other areas of marriage as well. Pornography is one the primary enemies of a good sex life in marriage. If this is an issue in your marriage, seek the help of God, friends, and professionals.