The Secret to Happy Marriage (Seriously)

secret to happy marriage

In marriage, it’s the small things that make the most significant difference. If there’s a secret to happy marriage, it’s found in the small things. It’s the moment you get out of the warm bed and go downstairs for the glass of water. It’s when you are willing to jump in the car and run to the store. It’s when your loved one asks and you respond, and you say, “yes” to whatever their request might be.

“Honey, Will you go to the basement and grab two cans of beans and some toilet paper?” 

“Hey babe, Would you mind going downstairs and getting me a glass of water?”

“Sweetie, Would you mind running to the store to get a gallon of milk, a loaf of bread, and a dozen of eggs?”

If you’re the spouse receiving these questions, what do you do? (This is a safe place. Answer honestly.)  Your spouse asks you to help with something, and you:

  • roll your eyes
  • take a deep sigh
  • get frustrated
  • wonder why they don’t just get up and do it themselves

You’ve done it. I’ve done it. I’m guilty. I’ve sighed. I’ve asked, “why?” I’ve stomped, pouted, and did the request begrudgingly. We are all guilty. 

But in my years of experience, I’ve learned this secret to happy marriage: the simple, kind response of “yes” to what our spouse asks goes a long way to communicate “I LOVE YOU.” Our simple answer to servanthood looks a lot like Jesus

In Mark 10, Jesus taught a lesson to James and John about being a servant. He said, “whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of everyone else. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:43-45 NLT)

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So, the next time your spouse says, “Will you . . .” remember, you have an opportunity to love by being like Jesus and serving him or her. You have the chance to give your life as a ransom for the moment to the one you love. 

Just say YES and be a servant. Here’s your reminder for today: In a world where everyone is looking for a secret to happy marriage, maybe the happy marriage is the one where we serve one another.


This article on the secret to happy marriage originally appeared here, and is used by permission.