No one intends to get married with the goal of ending it all. Yet 50% of all couples tying the knot this year will be divorced in 5-7 years. Here are the four most common reasons for divorce.
So how do you protect your marriage from being in the 50%? Marriage Awareness! Knowing the issues in your marriage, without minimizing or avoiding them, will protect you from certain disaster. Sadly, too many couples leave it up to chance, believing the myth that ‘if its true love, it will all work out.’
THERE ARE MANY FACTORS WORKING AGAINST YOU IN SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE.
Cultural myths about love, unhealthy family of origins, early romantic relationship drama, an over sexualized view of love in entertainment, too busy schedules that keep us from connecting, and the list goes on.
WHILE ALL THESE ARE CONTRIBUTING FORCES, HERE’S OUR LIST OF 4 PREDICTORS OF DIVORCE THAT WE’VE SEEN FIRST-HAND DURING OUR MARRIAGE INTENSIVES FOR COUPLES IN CRISIS:
Reasons for Divorce: Meanness
Couples that have replaced fondness and admiration of each other with sharp, critical words and actions that are meant to intimidate, are dancing on the edge of divorce. We’ve heard it all, the choice words couples use to intentionally push each others buttons. If left unchecked, the verbal and emotional abuse can even turn into physical abuse.
Reasons for Divorce: Neglect
This is a form of abuse that flies under the radar for many couples. The marriage no longer gets any sort of priority, being replaced by other pursuits like raising children, work, religious obligations, or hobbies. The date nights have ended and patterns of ‘checking out’ (using technology, alcohol, porn, video games, etc.) rather than engaging each other have become the norm.
Reasons for Divorce: Never Apologizing
When a spouse never takes ownership for their actions and lives either in complete denial or blames everything else, this relationship is in a zero trust situation. With no trust, there is little intimacy between the couple. We all make mistakes, but you can’t be the only one apologizing, that gets old real quick.
Reasons for Divorce: Indifference
This is the biggest red flag for a marriage in a toxic death spiral. The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference, because you no longer care. When a spouse has lost all motivation to engage in the relationship, hope goes out the window, and it’s only a matter of time before there really is no marriage to save and divorce is inevitable.
Maybe some of the signs we mentioned are in your marriage. Don’t let that depress you. You are doing the right thing by learning and educating yourself on how to do marriage right!