Married couples should flirt and have intimate conversations. You stoke the fire of your interest about anything (i.e., job, hobby, faith, politics, etc…) by talking about it with those who share your passion. Why would we not do the same for our marriage with our spouse?
Often when we talk about other interests in conversations with others we are not learning new information; we are merely rehearsing what we enjoy again (often in the same words we’ve used many times). Why would we be hesitant to do this with our marriages? Too often we only rehearse our disappointments with one another.
Use these questions to spark many, many conversations where you rehearse the delights of our marriage with your spouse.
- What is your favorite memory from our courtship, first year of marriage, or this past year?
- When have been the moments that our love for each other has grown the most (dating, engaged, married)?
- Fruit of the Spirit: I see goodness in you most clearly when…
- My favorite date we’ve been on so far is…
- I have great confidence in your…
- I love watching your joy when you/we…
- I Corinthians 13 – Your kindness blesses me when…
- A date that would be fun to me is…
- Thank you for…
- I hope our kids get your… (an indirect way to complement qualities you appreciate about your spouse)
- Philippians 4:8 – What are the things that are excellent and worthy of praise in our life and marriage now?
- I think your most attractive outfit is…
- It makes me smile when you…
- For our next anniversary I would like to…
- I noticed you sacrifice [blank] for our marriage/family and it meant a lot to me.
- Three things I love about you more now than when we got married are…
- My favorite way you say “I love you” is…
- You look most attractive to me after…
- The most meaningful gift you have ever given me was…
- I have really seen you grow in [blank] area of your life.
- What I like most about your sense of humor is…
- You make it easy to trust and love you by…
- The little things that you do which mean a lot to me are…
- The best compliment/surprise you ever gave me was…
- On our next three day weekend we should…
- You show me honor when you…
- How could I make a “regular day” most special for you?
- I was challenged by your sense of hope and perseverance when…
- You bless me by [list] and my life is better because of you.
- What form of mild affection (i.e., holding hands, cuddling, etc…) do you enjoy the most?
- How can I make the time we spend together more special for you?
- What is your favorite picture of us together?
- I miss you most when…
- I feel closest to you when…
- I am most proud of you for…
- What compliment can I give you that would be most meaningful to you in this season of life?