One Question You Should Ask Before You Fight With Your Spouse

If you’ve been married for a few months (heck, a few days) you’ve probably been in a situation or conversation when you find yourself thinking your husband is wrong. It may be that he’s wrong about specific information, the way he handled a certain situation, or that he’s just wrong in general.

As a wife of almost 3 years now, I can definitely admit I’ve found myself in this situation a few hundred dozen times. And unfortunately, in some of those instances I’ve definitely handled things incorrectly. I’ve yelled, gotten frustrated, and spent way too much time trying to convince him that he is in fact wrong. I can tell you that this has never ever been a beneficial way to approach the situation in any sense of the word, and as soon as I learned this the better off I was. Now, a few years in to marriage, I’ve realized that when I find myself questioning my husband or his actions, I must take a step back and consider the following three things…

Is this something I really need to fight for?

This is always the first question I ask myself when I find myself thinking my husband is wrong. Sometimes I ask myself this and find that the answer really is “yes,” we do need to do some more communicating on this topic and my view on this needs to be heard. But probably a lot more often I realize that what I think my husband is “wrong” about doesn’t really need to be discussed further.

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The way I tend to judge whether or not I need to fight for my side to be seen is by asking myself the following question, “will our differences of opinion on this topic affect the quality of our marriage?” So for example if something Eric did has a deep effect on my emotions or the way I’m feeling about our relationship I make sure to let him know, but in a non-accusatory and communicative way. But if it’s just something that drives me nuts from time to time or rubs me the wrong way here or there, I try to just take a deep breath and let it go.

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