One simple and useful definition of intimacy is “shared privacy”. David Olson, co-founder of Prepare-Enrich, family specialist and member of Better Marriages Advisory Board, has identified seven aspects of marital intimacy.
Consider your own relationship and score each area from 1-5, (5 being the highest) representing where you think you are right now in each area. Then share your scores with each other and discuss where you’d like to be. Agree on at least one area and make a plan for how to grow in that area.
1. Emotional intimacy: a closeness of feelings
2. Social intimacy: having friends in common
3. Intellectual intimacy: sharing ideas
4. Recreational intimacy: enjoying the same hobbies or sports
5. Spiritual intimacy: having a similar view of religious faith or the meaning of life
6. Aesthetic intimacy: sharing the same concepts of beauty
7. Sexual intimacy: enjoying sexual experience together