Today’s post comes from new Friend of the Newsletter™ Ketsia and her blog at purecouples.org. If you like her thoughts here, make sure you check it out!
1. Thank you.
It’s so easy to focus on the things our spouses don’t do right, like leaving the toilet seat up or spending too much money. It’s easy to tell yourself that your spouse doesn’t appreciate you enough. But I’ve discovered that focusing on the positive aspects of your spouse can do wonders for your marriage. Make a list of 10 things your spouse has done in the past couple of days that you can thank them for. It can be as simple as saying thank you for putting out the garbage on time, or folding the laundry. The little things that keep your lives running smoothly are often easy to forget. So take the time to thank your spouse, and you’ll see that your interactions with one another will start taking on a more positive tone.
2. I admire you because…
Your spouse needs to know that they inspire you to become a better person. Qualities like honesty, integrity, determination, and creativity should be applauded. Write down qualities about your spouse that you admire, and tell them why you admire those qualities. A note or a text telling them this will surely brighten their day and make them feel important.
3. Would you like me to…?
Sometimes we focus on what we want from our spouse instead of what we can do for them. Is there a chore that you know your spouse particularly dreads doing? Is there a particular meal they like to eat or a show they enjoy watching? Do something nice for your spouse, not to get anything in return, but just for the sake of showing them that you care. Selfless acts do tend to come back to you, but don’t do them expecting things to change immediately. Do it for the sake of showing your spouse some love.
4. I was wrong.
Showing humility is essential to a successful marriage. If you want to work out disagreements, this is one of the first steps. Being willing to admit your fault disarms your spouse’s anger and helps to diffuse the situation. It doesn’t make you a doormat, or weaken your position. It shows your spouse that your relationship is more important than winning an argument.
5. You are beautiful (handsome).
Whether you’ve been married for 20 years or 2, it’s nice to know that your spouse finds you physically attractive. So take some time out of your day to tell your spouse how attractive they are to you, that they still make your heart beat a little faster when they come around.
Doing these things every day will go a long way to improving your overall communication with your spouse, because you’re establishing habits of patience, gratitude, and forgiveness. Better communication also increases intimacy, both emotionally and physically. You can only gain from doing these exercises. Incorporate them one a time every week