1. Love is a feeling.
Almost all cultural signs point to this dangerous lie, that love is something you fall in and out of, a volcanic eruption of emotions and passion.
After seven years of marriage, I can say with 100% certainty love is not a feeling. Some days, I feel like throwing a temper tantrum because this marriage thing is hard, really hard. Magically, however, I feel different the next day, or after sex. This is the reality of feelings. They come and go, kind of like the wind, except that’s giving feelings to much credit. The day Tiffani and I were married, we made vows to one another. Countless times, we’ve rested on our vows because that’s what love does, it never fails.
Love is more powerful than failure and disappointment, it perseveres through sin and even death. That version of love – the real one – doesn’t sell tickets or books. It’s not popular or trendy.
But really, what are we saying about love, and more importantly, God, if it rests on a foundation as weak and shallow as feelings?
2. Conflict is temporary. Marriage is easy.
Culture says conflict in relationships is temporary, and all healthy relationships reach a point where everyone is happy, rides unicorns, and chews on Skittles.
In real life, marriage is hard, probably the hardest work you will do. Why? Two broken people are becoming one flesh. This involves tension, and this tension is healthy.
The gospel isn’t a “get out of conflict free” card. Jesus didn’t avoid pain and discomfort. He stepped into it, transformed it, and gave us new life. Marriage is beautiful because, unlike any other relationship on earth, it depicts the gospel.
Jesus followers have an opportunity to live out the gospel in their marriage everyday. Rather than viewing conflict as the second greatest evil (behind cats, of course), conflict is an opportunity to grow and give the world something beautiful, a picture of the gospel, a picture of God.