In the five months I’ve (Josh) been on the Thriving Marriages team, I’ve noticed that a lot of the marriage content out there is written by women, which is great because let’s be honest guys, they’re usually better at understanding relationships than us. However, this means the blog posts like “10 ways to ____” are almost always written by women to women. So I thought today I’d write one for men. So guys, here are 10 ways to make your wife feel loved this weekend.
Make breakfast: get fancy if you want, but even if it’s just slightly burned bacon and overcooked eggs, this starts the day off with you communicating to your wife “I’m in this with you.”
Give her alone time (no kids): your wife is probably busy, whether that’s with work, kids, taking care of the house or all three. Give her an hour of complete and total alone time to do whatever she wants.
Write a note: if you’re first reaction is “ugh, I hate writing notes” than this one is especially for you. I don’t like writing notes either, and receiving them usually doesn’t mean much to me. However, I’ve been told normal people are really into this, so do it. It doesn’t have to be Shakespeare, just write a few sentences of appreciation.
Buy her flowers: duh.
Vacuum the house: You can swap this out with whatever household chore needs doing. This goes double if your wife is someone super affected by the cleanliness of her surroundings.
Do that thing: you know, that one thing? That thing you said you’d do but haven’t gotten to yet? That thing you know your wife would like but it’s just so much work and you’re super tired? Yeah, that one. Do it. Do the thing.
Offer a back rub/foot rub free of expectations: (the expectation is sex.)
Pray together: Not only is this a relationally-bonding form of intimacy, there’s a spiritual power in praying together that bonds a husband and wife to each other. Find time, maybe at the end of the night after the kids go to bed, shut off the TV, and spend 15-30 minutes together in prayer.
Make a list of reasons why you love her: just get out a piece of paper, start writing, and don’t stop until you hit 20. Then show it to her.
Make out for awhile … see what happens: remember when you were dating, and trying not to have sex because “Jesus” and “purity” and stuff, but you made out a LOT? No? … um … no … me neither.
Whatever, the point is when is the last time you just kissed for, like, awhile? There’s a powerful intimacy to this sort of connection, and it might remind you what it was like to be young.
So men, here’s your challenge: show this list to your wife and let her pick the one she likes most, then do it this weekend. Even better, challenge yourself to see how many you can accomplish in the next week. I guarantee your wife will feel more loved, your marriage will be happier and – yes – the sex will almost certainly be better too. That’s a win-win guys.